Disagreement and Conflict Strategies

As an educator I try my best not to engage in disagreements and conflicts. I do my best to try and resolve all issues no matter how small or large. The one thing I just recently experienced, that comes to mind is a situation one of the Assistant Directors had. One of our parents who is deaf insist on bringing her children to daycare even though the state had informed the center that until she submits in the necessary paperwork the childcare will stop. The assistant told her she could not leave her children and the parent began to sign at her snapping and displaying anger. The parent basically told the assistant you can’t tell me I can’t leave my children. The assistant director explained to her that if she left her children she would have to pay out of pocket. The parent handed her a piece of paper that stated that because she is death the worker could not contact her by phone but by email only and the email address was on the paper. The parent wanted the assistant director to contact the worker and give her the email address so that the worker and parent could properly communicate. 

Non-Verbal Communication

The assistant director told the parent it was not her responsibility to contact them that as the parent she had to handle the situation. Again the parent began to sign and again very angry snapping at the assistant director. When I came in the assistant director mentioned to me what had happened and she seemed to be very upset by it. I simply asked her what was wrong so that she could explain the story from start to finish. She felt that it was not her responsibility to contact the worker that the parent needs to do so.  After she made me aware of the conversation I explained to her the way she handled that was inappropriate and that could have been resolved in such a way that would have made the situation peaceful for both people the parent and the assistant director.

As mentioned in Chapter 8 Managing Conflict Resolution “what starts out as a complaint or an observation can quickly develop into a nasty conflict or even an investigation” (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p. 219). My investigation of the situation determined that the matter could have been handled in a different manner. First of all in our business we need to be effective in our communication. Secondly, I look at the fact that this parent is death and so this is the best way for her to communicate with the center and so we need to take the extra step in assisting her. I let the assistant director know that the situation could have been easily resolved by just picking up the phone, contacting the worker and giving her the information (email address) from the parent so that there could be communication between the parent and the worker. That would have taken very little time to do so. 

Friends Resolving Conflicts

One strategy that comes to mind is the cooperative strategy. The assistant director could have proposed a compromise by allowing the children to stay until she was able to communicate with the parent’s worker. This would have been the best outcome for both parties in this relationship. “Strategies that benefit the relationship, serve mutual rather than individual goals, and strive to produce solutions that benefit both parties”( O'Hair & Wiemann,  2012, p. 237). Offering and potentially negotiating alternatives is a useful tactic for cooperative conflict management.  In this situation challenging strategy I would say could have applied to the parent. This promoted the objective of the individual (referring to the parent) who use the challenge rather than the desires of the other person or the relationship.

Communicate

"The dynamic communication techniques of Nonviolent Communication transform potential conflicts into peaceful dialogues. You'll learn simple tools to defuse arguments and create compassionate connections with your family, friends, and other acquaintances” (http://www.cnvc.org/). (Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is based on the principles of nonviolence-- the natural state of compassion when no violence is present in the heart. Nonviolent Communication skills emphasize personal responsibility for our actions and the choices we make when we respond to others, as well as how to contribute to relationships based in cooperation and collaboration. When our communication supports compassionate giving and receiving, happiness replaces violence and grieving!

I find that the needs of both parties play important roles in the long-term success of most relationships, and each deserves respect and consideration. When you can recognize the legitimacy of conflicting needs and become willing to examine them in an environment of compassionate understanding, it opens pathways to creative problem solving, team building, and improved relationships. The way you look, listen, move, and react to another person tells them more about how you’re feeling than words alone ever can.

Developing the ability to understand and use nonverbal communication can help you connect with others, express what you really mean, navigate challenging situations, and build better relationships at home and work.

To all my colleagues I would like your input regarding any specific problems you may have had and how you learned to be more effective communicators when handling conflicts.

References:

 The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/

http://www.cnvc.org/learn/nvc-foundations